{ my life less ordinary }

My Blog has Moved:

2010-08-25T11:07:00.000+02:00

Guess who….

2010-05-04T22:13:00.000+02:00

Put…

Gabbi…

In….

His….

Chest of drawers….

To keep her safe???

(Safe from what, is what I want to know!)

Five Question Friday...

2010-04-30T21:39:00.001+02:00

1.If you could, would you go back to high school?
No
Nope
Never
Ummm…let me think about that…Still NO!

2. If a genie appeared and granted you two wishes, what would they be? (And, no saying "more wishes".)
I wish to be a billionaire…to be able to help alleviate some of the poverty in this country, to give many a warm place to sleep at night, enough food so that mommy’s don’t have to worry that their children are going to bed hungry…just help out with the things that so many of us take for granted!
I wish that all children go into puberty with balanced hormones, and that teenagers DID actually know everything!!!


3. What kids show do you secretly like?
I love the cartoon show called “It’s a kind of magic!”
A fairy for a mother, an Ogre for a father…come on, life can’t get more interesting than that!

4. What is your beverage of choice?
Coke light…It runs in my veins!

5. What is something that you would change about yourself (or are working to change in yourself)?
I say things without thinking….and many, many times I wish that I had just bitten my tongue or taken 30 seconds to think about what I wanted to say, before blurting out the first thing that came to mind…

Now people, especially when they don’t really know me, think I’m a bit slow….It sometimes take me quite a while to answer even a simple question!
(Hence the 30 sec rule!)

Mom 'n Me Monday....

2010-04-19T10:21:00.000+02:00

In Julie's words:
Mom n' Me Monday was created in an attempt to make myself get in the picture with my kiddos. When my kids are grown, I don't want to look through my photos only to find that I am not in any of them! So, I'm on a mission to "capture" these memories."
Come and join in the fun!!!

I just can't seem get this "self portrait" photo taking thing right...

So here we have a little bit of me and and a littler bit of Tegan...

Five Question Friday...

2010-04-16T15:23:00.000+02:00

1.What words do you use on your blog/online that you don't use in real life?
LOL – cause in real life I just actually laugh out laugh!

2.Do you still write checks?
Sometimes, if the systems are down in a shop and I can’t use my cards, and frequently at my hairdresser…she doesn’t take cards, for some unknown reason, and I never carry cash with me…so it’s back to the good old checks!

3.Who was your favourite President and why?
I loved Ronald Reagan…He was more old school, and had a different moral and value system that I liked and could relate to.
I live in South Africa, so what I know is all second hand info from reading the newspaper and watching the news…but what I do know about him, I like a whole lot better than his successors so far!

4.Are you a yeller?
I cannot believe I'm going to admit this out LOUD...
Absolutely…It’s my way of venting and getting my point across loudly!

5.Have you ever dumpster dived?
Never, I hate it with a passion, and garage sales, and even second hand shops and Antique shops….
Other people’s junk is not my treasure!
I don’t do hand me down clothes either, unless it’s from my oldest to my youngest, or from my brother to my kids…His hand me downs are not old, just out of fashion for him, and my boys aren’t as fashion conscious!

Am I the only one…

2010-04-16T11:26:00.002+02:00

who has a closet that looks like this…

With clothes that still have labels on them…

Shopping bags that have yet to be unpacked…

No space to hang more clothes….

Yet, can find nothing to wear?

I Believe...

2010-04-15T23:04:00.001+02:00

I came across this gorgeous poem on another blog called Kids - A connection for Inspiration and just had to share it…

I Believe...
That just because two people argue,
it doesn't mean they don't love each other.
And just because they don't argue,
it doesn't mean they do love each other.

I Believe...
That we don't have to change friends if
we understand that friends change.

I Believe....
That no matter how good a friend is,
they're going to hurt you every once in a while
and you must forgive them for that.

I Believe...
That true friendship continues to grow,
even over the longest distance.
Same goes for true love.

I Believe...
That you can do something in an instant,
that will give you heartache for life.

I Believe....
That it's taking me a long time
to become the person I want to be.

I Believe...
That you should always leave loved ones with loving words.
It may be the last time you see them.

I Believe....
That you can keep going long after you think you can't.

I Believe....
That we are responsible for what we do,
no matter how we feel.

I Believe...
That either you control your attitude or it controls you.

I Believe...
That heroes are the people who do what has to be done when it needs
to be done, regardless of the consequences.

I Believe....
That my best friend and I can do anything or nothing and have the best time.

I Believe....
That sometimes the people you expect to kick you when you're down,
will be the ones to help you get back up.

I Believe...
That sometimes when I'm angry
I have the right to be angry,
But that doesn't give me the right to be cruel.

I Believe....
That maturity has more to do with what types of experiences you've had
and what you've learned from them and less to do with how many
birthdays you've celebrated.

I Believe....
That it isn't always enough, to be forgiven by others.
Sometimes, you have to learn to forgive yourself.

I Believe...
That no matter how bad your heart is broken,
the world doesn't stop for your grief.

I Believe....
That our background and circumstances
may have influenced who we are,
but, we are responsible for who we become.

I Believe...
That you shouldn't be so eager to find out a secret.
It could change your life Forever.

I Believe....
Two people can look at the exact same thing
and see something totally different.

I Believe...
That your life can be changed in a matter of hours
by people who don't even know you.

I Believe...
That even when you think you have no more to give,
when a friend cries out to you -
you will find the strength to help.

I Believe...
That credentials on the wall
do not make you a decent human being.

I Believe...
That the people you care about most in life
are taken from you too soon.

I Believe...
That the happiest of people don't necessarily
have the best of everything...
They just make the most of everything they have.

You know You're a mom when...

2010-04-14T21:54:00.000+02:00

As parents, we constantly find ourselves saying things that we just can't quite believe came out of our mouths, or misting up over a few scribbles on a page, or finding ourselves in situations that could only be the result of having offspring. So today I present "You know you're a mom (or dad) When-sDAZE."

Talking about boogers!

You know you’re a mom when…

Your kids fling boogers at each other, and you watch them with no emotion what so ever.

When your youngest picks his nose in the car and leans forward, with this huge green booger on his finger and you calmly remove it from his finger, without flinching, and flick it out of the car window.

In our house, ‘snot’ as my well mannered, and beautifully eloquent children like to call it, plays a big roll around our place daily…Tegan does not believe in using a tissue, ever…why should he when my shirt , pants, arm or leg is so much better?

More often than I would like, I hear myself saying…”don’t wipe that on your brother”…”don’t blow your nose on the dog”…”don’t you DARE put that in your mouth!” – And these comments are always directed at Tegan!

I have also been known to wipe their running, drippy noses with my fingers, and wipe it on my jeans (under my shirt, where no one can see it!), when tissues aren’t close by.

And finally, when days have been long, tiering and hard, I have gone to the shops in snot smeared clothes, and wondered why people where looking at me in a strange way…was my zip down on my pants, did I have something on my face?

The big, nasty green booger plastered on my shirt never even entered my mind….

Black and white Wednesday...

2010-04-14T11:06:00.000+02:00

This is what I find every morning when I walk into Tegan’s room…

Long skinny legs that just won’t stay under the blanket…

He looks like a ‘Faux Fur Bear’…

Mom 'n Me Monday...

2010-04-12T09:13:00.000+02:00

Mom n Me Monday was started by Julie at "The Peanut Gallery...Exit Here." This is a great way for moms to get pictures with their children. Usually moms are the ones behind the camera.
To see more Mom n Me Mondays, click on the button above.

This is Tegan.

He just turned 14, and is so proud of the fact that he is a “Big Boy” now…

He is loud, talkative and very, very naughty, in a good naughty kind of way!

He is an extrovert.

His smile lights up a room, and he gives the best hugs and kisses ever!

He says the funniest things….Like watching movies on the “big scream” is his most favourite thing to do, or when he puts his head on my chest, just to check that my heart is still “beeping”!

My best time of the day is lying in bed with him, chatting about our day, what he’s done and what we are going to do the next day…I’m really taking advantage of the cuddle time, because I know that it’s not going to be there forever!

He loves being the centre of attention, and loves creating drama, drama and more drama!

He is a HUGE animal lover, and would love to live on a farm.

He torments his brother….It’s his greatest pleasure in life!

He is my sidekick, my shadow….

I love this boy…

A DOZEN CHILDHOOD REMINDERS...

2010-04-11T09:55:00.000+02:00

At certain times we need childhood remiders, because
sometimes as parents, we get so caught up in our Childs special needs, that it's easy to forget about some of their "typical" needs.

Many times, we're not too sure if a specific behaviour or problem is because of the child's disability - or just because they are being a child!

Here are a dozen reminders, of some of the things we often forget to remember about all our kids - wether they have "special" needs or the "typical" needs of all kids:

1.Kids need "free" time that is all their own to do whatever they want with it.

2.Kids may complain that they are bored. It’s okay for kids to be bored sometimes.

3.Kids need some space that is their own. And to have that space respected.

4.Kids will regress and have bad days, and grumpy days, and sad days, and tired days, and not hungry (Just the same as grown ups!)Days that look like "slipping back" are often just resting spots.

5.Kids will show bursts of learning, suddenly doing many new things, and you think it's going to go on forever like that...and then...

6.Kids pass through plateaus, when you think they've stopped learning, you star to be afraid that they'll never progress again.

7.Kids need to know that they don't always get what they want, and that there are rules that they don't like, and that sometimes they will feel frustrated,
disappointed and even angry, but life is like that sometimes.

8.Kids need to test your limits and they will use whatever works.Stubborness in toilet training, eating problems, and bedtime problems are sure fire limit testers.

9.Kids have lots of different kinds of feelings, and need to know that feelings are okay.They need to find appropriate ways to express them,
and sometimes we have to help them do that.

10.Kids are messy, sloppy and clumsy. They spill things, forget things, and lose things. They whine, they argue, they complain. They
get angry, scared and sad.

11.Kids feel small and vulnerable much of the time and their feelings are hurt very easily. They need to hear us, and see us treat them with respect, fairness
pride and joy.

12.Kids are a lot of fun, and that's got nothing what so ever to do with having a disability.

Keep these childhood reminders in mind, and don't spend any more time than you have to worrying about tomorrow.

Enjoy today, this moment and build many happy memories of your kids childhood for them to remeber one day.

See Dog’s Run…

2010-04-08T16:01:00.001+02:00

When the boys wanted to plant a veggie garden, we decided pots would be the best option so that THE DOGS DON’T DIG UP THE VEGGIES!

For some unknown reason, every time it rains heavily for days at a time, my dogs make themselves a bed in vegetable garden.

It was funny the first time, seeing a fully grown Lab, curled into a tight ball to fit into a flower pot.

However,this morning as I opened the front door, it was not so funny to see our hard work destroyed!

Mixed Herbs…Gone!

Spinach and Lettuce…Gone!

Why couldn’t they dig up the Brussels sprouts that I could never get to yield any veggies…those they could have had with pleasure!

Cauliflower and edible flowers…Gone!

At least they left us with Peas and Cherry tomatoes…

Needless to say, all I saw was the tail end of 4 Labs, as they ran to hide…and where did they hide?

Yes, in the huge Igloo kennel, filled with blankets, sheltered from the rain, where they usually sleep…apparently only when it doesn’t rain!

Endurance…

2010-04-07T10:46:00.000+02:00

No 18 year old likes to be kissed and hugged by his mother!

Shame….

The poor boy looks ready to bolt…

Losing my Balance…

2010-04-07T07:37:00.000+02:00

I have trained myself so well over the years, to walk the tight rope that I consider my life, that on the odd occasion that I do lose my balance and fall off, I dust myself off and get back up there immediately.

These is my life, not one that I would ever have chosen for myself, but mine none the less…so I deal with it and wallowing in self pity is just not an option for me…usually!

Monday morning I woke up feeling drained, I had no energy and my mood pretty much matched the weather, dark, rainy and miserable.

For the first time in a long time I sat and wallowed in my pit of self pity….

I stayed in my Pj’s all day, turned my phone off, watched TV and slept!

I was angry, with no idea who to direct my anger at.

I was angry that my children are disabled. I still am…

I was angry that I can’t fix it. I still am…

I was angry that no one in my family really understands, or for that matter really cares. I still am…

I spent most of last week and the long Easter weekend with my family, something I haven’t done for a very long time, and it is not something I will do again in the near future, it is just to difficult for me, and throws me off balance.

I don’t expect people to walk on egg shells when they are around me, but a bit of consideration every now and again would be so welcome. I spent most of Easter Sunday listening to my cousin telling everyone over and over again, how big her 5 year old was getting and all the things he can do by himself now.

He baths and dresses himself, gets up in the morning, makes his own bed and fixes himself breakfast. Helps his sister out of her cot, gets her something to eat, and entertains her so that they can lie in a bit longer…as a parent I would also be very proud of my child doing all these things.

What really got to me was, every time she spoke about this, she would look at me with such pity in her eyes that I wanted to scream!

I wanted to stand in the middle of her lounge screaming and crying. Stamping my feet and tearing my hair out…instead I plastered ‘the smile’ on my face, packed up my boys and went home.

At home I am safe, there is no one staring at the two boys in wheelchairs. There is no one pitying me.

At home I can breathe, and be angry that my 18 and 14 year old cannot bath and dress themselves. They are too weak to help themselves out of bed in the morning, or roll over by themselves at night. They cannot fix their own breakfast, or even pour a glass of juice for themselves. Simple, everyday tasks that people take for granted, is beyond their capabilities.

At home I can be angry that I will never teach my children how to drive a car, they probably will never get married and I won’t ever have any grand children. My children won’t take a gap year and travel around Europe, there will be no graduation ceremonies or getting a job or buying their first house…I will die alone one day, because I will out live my children.

That is my reality!

So on Monday, when I lost my balance and fell, I stayed down.

On Tuesday, I put on my big girl panties, climbed back on my tight rope, with my balance intact.

Today I am thankful for all the things that the boy’s can do, for everything they do give me, for being mine and for making me a better person!

Today, tomorrow and for ever I will just love them, unconditionally!

I have learnt that it’s okay to lose my balance sometimes, to fall, and even to stay down, because as much as I pretend to be super mommy, I’m just human after all!

Gonna be a Bear…

2010-04-06T21:19:00.000+02:00

In this life I’m a woman. I my next life I’d like to come back as a bear. When you’re a bear, you get hibernate. You do nothing but sleep for six months. I can deal with that.

Before you hibernate, you’re supposed to eat yourself stupid. I could deal with that too.

When you’re a girl bear, you birth your children (who are the size if walnuts) while you’re sleeping and wake to partially grown, cute, cuddly cubs. I can definitely deal with that.

I you’re mamma bear, everyone knows you mean business. You swat anyone who bothers your cubs. If your cubs get out of line, you swat them too. I can deal with that.

If you’re a bear, your mate EXPECTS you to wake up growling. He EXPECTS that you will have hairy legs and excess body fat.

Yup, gonna be a bear!

Not Me! Monday…

2010-04-05T18:02:00.002+02:00

I would never feed my children take away food, and McDonalds being one of them, twice in one day because I was too busy organising birthday parties, to feed the boys properly, no way not me!

And I would never even contemplate the thought of turning over my duvet cover, after our kitten had made a wee wee on my bed twice, so that no-one would see the marks when they came over for Tegan’s birthday, no way not me…that is just so gross!!!

Also, I would never, ever forget that I did the above mentioned when I finally collapsed into bed after a major cleanup…no way, not me, my blond comes out of a bottle after all!

I am too well organised to do any of these things…

Ever!!!

Easter Sunday…

2010-04-05T11:21:00.001+02:00

We spent Easter Sunday at my cousin, Melanie’s house.

We had a huge Easter Egg hunt…

Darian had an unfair advantage; he had my brother helping …

Tegan and my mother joined teams…

Darian ‘stole’ some of Tegan’s eggs…he was not happy, we thought it was very funny!!!

Counting the loot…

The Easter bunny was very generous this year…

Even the big boy’s got egg’s…

Easter Egg’s…

And “sugar highs” for everyone….

We then had very YUMMY, lasagne, macaroni and cheese, salad and garlic bread for lunch, and after all the chocolate, there was still space for milk tart!

It was a glorious day spent with family!

Are You....

2010-04-04T15:31:00.001+02:00

Are You a Carrot, An Egg, or a Coffee Bean?

Anonymous

A young woman went to her mother and told her about her life and how things were so hard for her. She did not know how she was going to make it and wanted to give up. She was tired of fighting and struggling. It seemed as one problem was solved a new one arose.

Her mother took her to the kitchen. She filled three pots with water. In the first, she placed carrots, in the second she placed eggs and the last she placed ground coffee beans. She let them sit and boil without saying a word.

In about twenty minutes she turned off the burners. She fished the carrots out and placed them in a bowl. She pulled the eggs out and placed them in a bowl. Then she ladled the coffee out and placed it in a bowl.

Turning to her daughter, she asked, "Tell me what do you see?"

"Carrots, eggs, and coffee," she replied.

She brought her closer and asked her to feel the carrots. She did and noted that they were soft. She then asked her to take an egg and break it. After pulling off the shell, she observed the hard-boiled egg. Finally, she asked her to sip the coffee. The daughter smiled, as she tasted its rich aroma.

The daughter then asked. "What does it mean, mother?"

Her mother explained that each of these objects had faced the same adversity—boiling water—but each reacted differently.

The carrot went in strong, hard and unrelenting. However after being subjected to the boiling water, it softened and became weak.

The egg had been fragile. Its thin outer shell had protected its liquid interior. But, after sitting through the boiling water, its inside became hardened.

The ground coffee beans were unique, however. After they were in the boiling water they had changed the water.

"Which are you?" she asked her daughter. "When adversity knocks on your door, how do you respond? Are you a carrot, an egg, or a coffee bean?"

Think of this: Which am I?

Am I the carrot that seems strong, but with pain and adversity, do I wilt and become soft and lose my strength?

Am I the egg that starts with a malleable heart, but changes with the heat? Did I have a fluid spirit, but after death, a breakup, a financial hardship or some other trial, have I become hardened and stiff? Does my shell look the same, but on the inside am I bitter and tough with a stiff spirit and a hardened heart?

Or am I like the coffee bean? The bean actually changes the hot water, the very circumstance that brings the pain. When the water gets hot, it releases the fragrance and flavor.

If you are like the bean, when things are at their worst, you get better and change the situation around you. When the hours is the darkest and trials are their greatest do you elevate to another lever?

How do you handle Adversity?

Are you a Carrot, an egg, or a coffee bean?

I am an Egg, trying very hard to work my way to becoming a coffee Bean!

Birthday Cake…

2010-04-03T12:29:00.001+02:00

I found this awesome cake on this site and have been dying to make one…

It was a long process, as I am NOT a baker and really don’t have the right baking paraphernalia…

But hour and hours later, I was quite impressed with the result!

My family where very surprised when they saw Tegan’s cake, it was plain white…very unusual for me!

I always go over the top for the boy’s birthdays, but that all changed when we cut the cake…

I made it very clear to them though, that it was a ‘once off’ cake…never to be repeated by me, at least...until the next time , maybe!

Every Year On Your Birthday...

2010-04-02T21:25:00.000+02:00

Every year, on your birthday,

I think about how glad I am

that you were born,

how thankful I am

to have you in my life.

Every year is another year

filled with the special joys you bring

just by being yourself.

Every year, when you open your birthday gifts,

realize what a gift you are

to everyone who knows you,

especially me.

Happy 14th Birthday Tiggs!!

A busy day….

2010-04-01T15:08:00.001+02:00

Yesterday was a very busy day for us!

I went to have my hair trimmed and 3 hours later I walked out with a complete new hairstyle and a lot less hair. Plus a full colour.

My hair went from this…

To this….And I love it shorter!

I then went home and picked up the boys and took them for hair cuts…

After that we went to my best friend’s house, so that the kids could exchange Easter eggs, as they will be away for the long weekend, at her Dad’s farm.

The boy’s also wanted to play with the 3 week old kittens that she was fostering…but that ended very quickly when one of them pooped on Darian’s lap!!!

While we where there she also took some awesome pictures of me and the boy’s, since we where all sporting some fancy new hair styles and I had make-up on for a change!

And finally we went out for an early dinner for my mom’s birthday…

It was a long and busy day, but we had so much fun…and on Friday we can start the party all over again for Tegan’s birthday!

Life is Good...

2010-03-31T11:56:00.000+02:00

when you are a cat in our house!

I Think I have a….

2010-03-30T12:39:00.000+02:00

Slipper obsession!

I love wearing slippers around the house, and it’s the first thing I do when I get home after I’ve been out.

Shoes come off and slippers go on…

I just didn’t realise I had so many pairs, and when I cleaned out my closet I couldn’t part with any of them…

Even the old, holey, worn out ones…

The gardening pair...

The pair held together by prayer...

The new pair...

The oldest pair...

Never been worn...they are way to cute!

Away from home pair...that's why they are still clean!

Because my mom thinks I'm a cow pair...

It's always been a joke in our family that my mom, myself and my cousin very often talk before we think, so what sometimes comes out of our mouth’s is not very nice!

We have since been called the 3 cows, in the family and we have embraced that title with pride.

So whenever one of us has a HUGE cow moment, we buy each other something with a cow on it!

That’s where the cow slippers came from….and it’s just one of my many cow memorabilia!

Mom n Me Monday....

2010-03-29T09:27:00.001+02:00

Making photo's look old....

2010-03-29T03:30:00.001+02:00

I found this site via another blog today, and spent hours making my photo's look old....

Why I am not…

2010-03-26T03:00:00.001+02:00

Photogenic in pictures!

It is clearly a case of genetics; I must have inherited the “Un-photogenic” gene from my mom…

My brother on the other hand got ALL the good genes…

Talk about saving the best for last .

Even though he got all the good stuff I still love him, way too much!

20 Random things about me…

2010-03-25T03:00:00.001+02:00

1. I love animals.

2. I am a baby-o-holic, I love new born babies, they way they look,the way they small, just everything about them is fantastic!

3. I read – a lot.

4. I am a HUGE Twilight fan.

5. I love the colour Pink.

6. I studied clothing design and have never used my degree.

7. I enjoy doing anything crafty, and have an unhealthy obsession with fabrics. I have bought enough fabric to craft with for at least 3 life times!

8. I am loud and can be very domineering…

9. I am domestically challenged and I cannot cook to save my life!

10. I am struggling with my faith at the moment.

11. I love taking naps.

12. I am not sentimental at all.

13. I am impulsive.

14. I am not photogenic in pictures at all.

15. I smoke.

16. I am a bad driver and very nervous on the road, especially around HUGE trucks!

17. I live and breathe for my children.

18. I don’t drink alcohol, I grew up in a family with a few alcoholics, and it has put me off drinking completely. I did my fair share in my younger days, but not anymore.

19. My pet hate is chipped cups, glasses or plates. In my house they get thrown away immediately, in a restaurant I will send the food back and ask for an unchipped plate, mug etc.

20. I lived in Aruba for two years with a Dutch marine after my divorce, and he was younger than me!

Worldless Wednesday...

2010-03-24T09:33:00.002+02:00

What is wrong with the boys?

2010-03-23T06:22:00.000+02:00

It took me the better part of 15 years living with Special needs children to be able to talk about what was wrong with them, and not cry!

For me that was a major breakthrough, accepting that I cannot fix what’s wrong and make it better for them, is something that I think I will never get right!

The boys both a recessive genetic disorder called Andermann’s Syndrome.

This syndrome is a disorder that damages the nerves used for muscle movement and sensation (gross motor, fine motor and sensory neuropathy). They both have a malformed and very little tissue that connects the right and left halves of the brain (Corpus callosum), and with the two halves of the brain being unable to communicate with each other properly, many of the normal functions of the body, are just not present.

Neither of the boys have ant reflexes at all, and they both have severe low muscle tone (Hypotonia). As they have gotten older, there muscles have started wasting away, and they have gotten progressively weaker. There limbs are most affected and they have very little sensation left, so we have to be very careful with bumping them or putting them into a bath that’s to hot, because they can’t feel the damage until it’s too late.

Luckily, and I use that term very broadly, only Tegan has the tremors and the seizures associated with Andermann’s.

Some of the other known features of Andermann’s syndrome:

- Contractures
- Scoliosis
- Seizures
- Facial muscle weakness
- Drooping eyes
- Gaze palsy
- Intellectual disability
- Depression, anxiety,agitation,paranoia, hallucinations
- Obsessive compulsive disorder
- Widely spaced eye’s
- High arched palate
- Big toe crosses over small toes
- Club foot
- Shortened life expectancy

The doctor’s are always amazed, that both boys have been diagnosed with the same disorder, yet they have both been affected differently.

For me this has been a blessing, because not knowing what’s going to happen next or what’s going to go wrong, is sometimes a blessing. I am a worrier by nature and was after having gone through a scoliosis correction with Darian, I was expecting to go through one with Tegan at roughly the same age…I was panicking!!!

But Tegan’s scoliosis is progressing much slower and his last set of X-rays show no noticeable development in the last year, so for now we have a breather.

Having children with special needs is the most difficult, heartbreaking thing I have ever had to do in my life!

I struggle to upbeat all the time, to be patient, to consider myself blessed, to get up in the morning, to put a smile on my face everyday and pretend that I’m the worlds best mommy like everyone makes me out to be!
I am rude to people who stare at us in shopping centres, I want to strangle the next person who says,” I don’t know how you do it, if it was me, I’m sure I would never cope as well you do!”, some days I want to run away or slit my wrists, depending on how sleep deprived I am, if I have to pour another glass of cold rink, fetch, carry, lift, pickup, bath, dress, feed, medicate or clean up one more child’s poop!

Does that make me a bad mom?

No it makes me human…

Through all the battles we fight everyday, and the uncertainties in our life, there is only one thing I know for sure and hold onto with both hands, it is my life line…I love my boys with all my heart, and they love me back, unconditionally! When those not so little arms come around my neck and lots of slobbery kisses are handed out…

All is right with my world!

Another rescue Kitty…Lila!

2010-03-22T22:11:00.000+02:00

We rescued a second kitty, this one just hours away from being put down.

She is very, very tiny and should have been with her mom for a couple weeks still, but being dumped in a box outside the vets office doesn’t make that a real possibility!

Gabbi is totally amused with this new addition and thinks that Lila is her own real live toy.

She stalks her, attacks her and plays with her constantly!
They are going to be the best of friends.

The boys are totally enamoured with this new addition, who has taken to riding on their shoulder, and snuggling into their necks…I wonder what she is going to do when she gets too big for this?

It’s back to the vet for her tomorrow, as she has a very runny tummy, and I’m not sure what to feed her anymore, to make it better!

She is so cute…

Darian and Lila...

Tegan and Lila...

Brothers and Sisters....

2010-03-22T09:28:00.002+02:00

This is what happens when older brothers and sisters play together and alcohol is involved…

Children…Keep the magic markers away from the adults!

Family Function...

2010-03-21T20:40:00.000+02:00

We had a family function at the beginning of March and Tegan just did not want to go to!!!

He tried to hide in Darian’s cupboard…

Darian was not impressed…

He finally gave it up as a bad idea, and resorted to plan B…THE MEASELS!

Needless to say, none of his efforts worked, and after having his face scrubbed, numerous times, he decided that it was easier to just go to grannies birthday, where he did have a good time!

Gotta love this kid…even though I spend a lot of time wondering what’s going on in that mind of his!

The Special Needs bill of Rights.

2010-03-14T20:48:00.003+02:00

We, the parents, in order to form a more perfect union, establish justice, ensure tranquillity (and sanity) and promote the general welfare of our
families, do ordain and establish this Bill of Rights:

We have the right to expect our kids to be seen for who they are as individuals, not as labels or diagnoses.

We have a right to ignore the remarks, questions and stares and not give explanations or excuses for why our children are the way they are.

We have a right to wish that sometimes things could be easier.

We have a right to roll our eyes straight out of our heads when we encounter certain mothers who brag nonstop that their kids are the smartest students/best athletes ever.

We have a right to wonder “What if…”every so often.

We have a right to blast Bruce Springsteen/ Tom Petty/”Any Rocker”, down a glass of Pinot Grigio, get a pedicure, go out with the girls, or do all of the aforementioned at once if that’s what it takes to avoid burnout.

We have a right to react to people’s ignorance in whatever way we feel necessary.

We have a right to get tired of people saying (as they give that sympathy stare), “I don’t know how you do it.”

We have a right to go through the grieving process and realize we may never quite be “over it.”

We have a right to tell family and friends that everything may not be OK—at least not how they mean it, anyway.

We have a right to have yet more Pinot Grigio.

We have a right to take a break from “Google-ing” therapies, procedures, medicine and treatments for our kids to research upcoming concerts, exotic teas or anything not related to our child’s disabilities.

We have a right to hope for an empty playground so we don’t have to look into another child’s eyes and answer the question: “What’s wrong with him?”

We have a right to bawl on the way back from the playground, the birthday party, the mall or anyplace where our children’s challenges become glaringly obvious in the face of all the other kids doing their “typical-developmental” things.

We have a right to not always have our child be the poster child for his/her disability and some days be just a child.

We have a right to stretch the truth when we fail to do the exercises the therapist asked us to do this week because we were too darn tired or overwhelmed.

We have the right to not always behave as inspirational icons who never complain or gripe about the sometimes awful realities of raising a child with special needs.

We have a right to play aimlessly with our children. Not for therapeutic or educational purposes—just for fun.

We have the right to give our children consequences for their behavior. They may be “special” but they can still be a royal pain in the ass.

We have a right to talk about how great our kids are when people don’t get it.

We have a right to choose alternative therapies for our kids.

We have a right to expect quality services for our children; not just when they’re infants, preschoolers and elementary school age, but, when they’re in older grades and adults, too.

We have a right to fire any doctor or therapist who’s negative, unsupportive or who generally says “suck-y” things.

We have a right to adequate funding for those services and to not have to kick, scream or endure a wait for them.

We have the right to give our kids chores…… even better, if they can learn to make breakfast in bed for us.

We have a right to trust our instincts about our kids and realize that experts don’t always know best.

We have a right to cheer like crazy anytime our children amaze us—or weep like lunatics.

We have a right to push, push and push some more to make sure our children are treated fairly by the world

Difficult times and Best-Friends…

2010-03-12T20:38:00.000+02:00

Things have been really difficult between me and my eldest son Darian lately on, and the fine thread that I have been hanging onto finally snapped!

We have difficult periods with him, and I can understand his frustrations…he is a teenager with a perfectly normal mind who cannot do all the things that boys of his age normally do. He gets frustrated, irritated and very moody, but we generally just weather the storm until it passes.

This time round, I became his verbal punching bag and all his anger was directed at me. Knowing where it was coming from, I took the punches, but I soon realised that I was over stressed and under medicated!

Ofcourse I thought that I was hiding everything pretty well, the smile was in place and I was going about my business as I usually do, being happy and chirpy, pretending everything was just fine.

BUT…

I should have known that my best friend would see through all of this, and when I received this sms from her this morning, I knew that she knew, everything was not okay…

“Hey Cooks!

I just wanted to tell you how precious my life is coz I have Sarah, you and my boys in it! I would not be steering my life on the same course without you…How blessed, blessed, blessed am I???

Love you Nats…thanks for being my waterproof shoulder, padded room, rubber wall, giggle maaitjie (Friend),soundproof studio, tour guide, info counter, parental advisory board, Agony auntie, life check reminder, file marked ‘private and confidential’, confidence booster, bravery distributor, story teller and friend!

You are a she-chick of note!!!

Don’t let anyone tell you different!”

She knows me better than what I know myself and knew exactly what I needed and when I needed it…without me saying a word!

Thank goodness for Best Friends in Difficult times!

Foam Party….

2010-03-10T23:08:00.000+02:00

We have been having glorious weather here in the last couple of weeks.

My brother, his girlfriend and the boy’s decided to have a Jacuzzi this past weekend, and ended up having a bubble bath instead.

We learnt very quickly, never to leave a bottle of bubble bath in the hands of teenager…moderation is not a word in there vocabulary!

But they had an absolute blast!

Brothers...???

2010-03-09T17:22:00.000+02:00

Without a doubt....

I will lead...

and you will follow...

(Heavens Help me!!!)

What was he thinking????

2010-03-05T00:06:00.002+02:00

A couple of years ago, my hubby decided that he was going to grow his hair!
Now keep in mind, that he is in his early 40’s, so the receding hair line and beer belly have already made themselves quite at home, and have proudly started announcing his progressive climb up the age ladder.
Not to mention the fact that he is beyond stubborn, so all we could do watch the growth of sparse locks in complete horror and silence….

The start of it all….

And finally back to normal...

Could this be the start of a midlife crisis?

If it is…I’m afraid, really, really afraid!<

ANOTHER NEW ADDITION...

2010-02-27T21:23:00.004+02:00

About 3 weeks ago, I got a very excited phone call from my best friend.
She is volunteering at a rescue centre for Kitties that have been abandoned and she is currently fostering four 8 week old kittens, that where dropped at a rubbish dump, until they can be re-homed!
MMMMMM……..
And the conversation just kept on getting better…”You must bring Tegan to come and have a look at them, they are so cute.

Needless to say we head over to “the friends" house to play with the kitties and it was love at first site for both Tegan and Gabbi.

At this stage I was still playing the bad guy and being adamant that we are NOT , under ANY circumstances adopting another pet into our “Home Zoo”!!!

Knowing how easily I give to the Boy’s, I even went as far as passing the buck, and said to Tegan that he must ask his dad, thinking that that will squash this idea completely, as there is no way his dad will ever say YES to a cat. He believes animals live outside, and with 4 Labs that will not be a possibility and I had no intention of brining home a snack.

The “traitor” as I now call him, finally, after much begging and PUPPY faces from Tegan, actually agreed to let him adopt Gabbi.

She loves Tegan with a passion and the bond they share is beautiful. We have all fallen in love with our little STRAY and she has fitted in to our family as if she is has always been here…

Our extended family

2010-02-23T21:27:00.010+02:00

Blade is our gorgeous black Lab...

He is fat, cute, Cuddly and has the patients of a saint!
My youngest hooligan loves animals, and Blade is his boy. He allows My Youngest to climb all over him, give him tons of really bone crushing hugs and never blinks an eye.

Sonja is our girly girl and the other black Lab…

Although I always wanted to breed with her eventually, she obviously had other plans and decided to do it sooner rather than later!
Apart from the unexpected puppy surprise, we also didn’t expect to get a litter of rainbow puppies.
Mom and dad are both black….so, logically speaking the puppies should also all be back.
But since nothing, and I mean nothing ever follows the norm in this house, we had 3 Golden, 2 Black and 1 Chocolate puppy…our own rainbow nation!
We obviously had to add to our “Farm” and so we kept….

A Honey...

And a Milo...

So now instead of two planned pets we have four unplanned, large dogs who …
*Poop as much as what they eat.
*Destroyed our once beautiful garden
* Bolts every time the front gate opens
*Loves us unconditionally

And we will never swop them for anything in this world!

Best Friends...

2010-02-20T19:24:00.003+02:00

This is my Best Friend, Agony Aunt, Partner in Crime and also my Ex-Boss
She is an Awesome Single Mommy and life would be a whole lot more difficult without her!
Love you lots my friend.

My Bio

2010-02-19T12:43:00.000+02:00

i am...

Girly.

Impulsive.

Procrastinating.

Vague.

Outspoken.

All or nothing.

i believe in...

Childs Innocence.

Loyalty.

Fantasy.

Honesty.

Make Believe.

The Gift of Tomorrow.

i'm overjoyed with...

A Pair of Slippers.

A Day Spent Shopping.

Fuzzy Gowns.

Good Wine.

Best Friends.

A Good Book.

Chocolate.

i'm inspired by...

People.

Love.

Betty Boop.

Pretty, Pink Things.

Art.

Craft.

Stuff.

i'm grateful for...

My Two Children.

My Brother.

My Beautiful Home.

Being a Stay at Home Mom.

The Love of Friends and Family.

Every. Single. Day.

The Special Mother

2010-02-19T00:31:00.000+02:00

The Special Mother

by Erma Bombeck

Most women become mothers by accident, some by choice, a few by social pressures and a couple by habit.

This year nearly 100,000 women will become mothers of handicapped children. Did you ever wonder how mothers of handicapped children are chosen?

Somehow I visualize God hovering over earth selecting his instruments for propagation with great care and deliberation. As He observes, He instructs His angels to make notes in a giant ledger.

"Armstrong, Beth; son. Patron saint...give her Gerard. He's used to profanity."

"Forrest, Marjorie; daughter. Patron saint, Cecelia."

"Rutledge, Carrie; twins. Patron saint, Matthew."

Finally He passes a name to an angel and smiles, "Give her a handicapped child."

The angel is curious. "Why this one God? She's so happy."

"Exactly," smiles God, "Could I give a handicapped child to a mother who does not know laughter? That would be cruel."

"But has she patience?" asks the angel.

"I don't want her to have too much patience or she will drown in a sea of self-pity and despair. Once the shock and resentment wears off, she'll handle it."

"I watched her today. She has that feeling of self and independence that is so rare and so necessary in a mother. You see, the child I'm going to give her has her own world. She has to make her live in her world and that's not going to be easy."

"But, Lord, I don't think she even believes in you." God smiles, "No matter, I can fix that. This one is perfect - she has just enough selfishness." The angel gasps - "selfishness? is that a virtue?"

God nods. "If she can't separate herself from the child occasionally, she'll never survive. Yes, here is a woman whom I will bless with a child less than perfect. She doesn't realize it yet, but she is to be envied. She will never take for granted a 'spoken word'". She will never consider a "step" ordinary. When her child says 'Momma' for the first time, she will be present at a miracle, and will know it!"

"I will permit her to see clearly the things I see...ignorance, cruelty, prejudice....and allow her to rise above them. She will never be alone. I will be at her side every minute of every day of her life, because she is doing My work as surely as if she is here by My side".

"And what about her Patron saint?" asks the angel, his pen poised in mid-air.

God smiles, "A mirror will suffice."